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Well its all been a bit of drama....... Im still attempting to calm down....... you know me...... Im not that risk averse ........ generally Im just not that scared........ I have 3 different bullet proof jackets........ I've got myself into a few scrapes that generally I meet with a reasonably cool approach....... well not this one.........

Did I mention I have a proper full on phobia of snakes.....?

So I am hanging out in a little place I sometimes stay in on the Eastern Shore...... I think I'll watch a movie so I look through the dodgy looking collection of DVD's and decide to watch the last of the Jason Bourne trilogy....... but I have seen parts of this on a couple of flights so really I am fiddling with my laptop ........ with Jason Bourne driving exceptionally fast and doing people in as background ambience......... then something very drastic is suddenly wrong....... there it is a huge black snake sliding along the floor towards me.........

I nearly had a fit ........ nearly broke my computer ran about putting my boots back on while keeping an eye on the snake........ I was petrified and totally freaked out....... rang Matt (this my solution to everything).......... I've seen Matt dealing with serious snakes in his back garden........ even Matt has never had one in the house........

Matt tells me he thinks its a non poisonous Rat snake....... when i describe it....... he knows I am scared of snakes so he is laughing but also trying to help....... he suggests what he would do but he also knows I am way too scared to do anything about it myself.......... So he suggests I get the cops........ so I do....... all the while keeping an eye on this incredibly active 3 foot black snake that is tootling round the room...... a nice cop comes.......... he also thinks its a rat snake but has no idea what to do about it......... but he knows the number of a bloke who does........

So the cop rings Jeff Patrick licensed Critter Man........ Jeff turns up very fast ...... I show him where the snake has now hidden in the fire place he immediately pokes it with his snake stick........ as it tries to strike he catches the angry head in a noose......... the rest of the body lashes about like crazy........ wrapping itself around his snake stick and bare arms........ i thought i was gonna pass out....... I also thought I was videoing all of this....... but I wasn't I forgot to hit record in the panic of it all........ Jeff then took the snake down to the water to release it............ afterwards he said he normally charges $100-00 but seeing as how I had cornered it he would only charge $50.......... I gotta say...... it was such a brilliant service so fast fearless and effecient and way after midnight............ $50-00 just seemed the bargain of the century if I was Jeff I might be tempted to negotiate while the snake was writhing and thrashing in my control......... its possible I could have been negotiated out of all my worldly goods......... I felt I was particularly undeserving of the cornering it rebate as I had certainly done nothing to corner it..... it just chose the fireplace by itself.......

Jeff Patrick licensed Critter man for the State of Maryland...... he does not talk much ...... not really a conversationalist....... so as I say he may not be the best dinner guest....... but he is a good guy...... and when you have a three foot snake in your living room....... he is your man....... not Matt Damon......... or even your very nice policeman ........ no..... you are looking for Jeff Patrick licensed critter man ........ if you live in the mighty State of Maryland you should absolutely memorize this number........ 410 763 8068........ the number for Jeff Patrick licensed critter man ..... a bloke whose task in life is to literally free you from your worse nightmares.

Cheers Jez XXXXXXXXXXX

PS.......... I shot this Gator picture on Highway 51 at dusk on Monday last week......... this is not a pet........ and is not is a zoo...... this is a 13 ft Gator in the wild....... when he rushed out of the swamp I was scared but I held my ground to shoot........ the snake was probably a whole pile less dangerous........ but give me the Gator any day............. :-)) XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

www.jezblog.com

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Previous | Next :: 13 ft Gator rushes out of the swamp : Laplace Highway 51 : Louisiana | July 17, 2010, 2:01 am